The Ghost of Missus Past

Just Like A Woman

Her father told her story first. Her love tells it most. Her Heavenly Father, and First love tells it truest, and has the last say. She loves her earthly father, but she was never good enough in her own eyes based on what her father told her growing up. She was never good enough and could have done things differently according to her recollection of daddy. What she failed to understand was that he only wanted to be her harshest critic because he loved her enough not to settle for mediocrity. Great fathers don't want great things for their daughters, they want what's best for them. That's the best dad anyone could ever have. Unfortunately, she learned to do just that, to settle for mediocrity because she didn't see what daddy saw, she saw what her pain led her to see. Her pain led her to see that it was most fitting to settle. Settling helps find an ease in the pain, a quick remedy to the pain. Which led her to settle all her life, to avoid the pain at all costs, to settle for allowing the ghost of her past to haunt her. 

If she's not good enough for daddy, perhaps she can find a father figure that will make her forget she's not good enough by having him tell her that nothing outside of him (the father figure) is good enough? He's smart enough to temporarily tickle her ears, so he has to be the smartest man she knows. How will she handle the lies? When will she see the truth? The lies of... the money is not good enough, the affection is not good enough, the physical relationship is not good enough. He needs more from more, more money (more theft), more affection (more women), more for the flesh (more substances/addictions). She is so used to the lies that she feels as though she has to stay trapped inside that tiny earthly body, and still figure out a way to hold the weight of the world on her shoulders. Then when she tries to take on the weight of the world, she experiences the weight of the universe, and it is there that she has an encounter with God. A feminine, Job, why me moment.

"Lord, I've been telling You ("telling" is often confused as prayer), I want one of these play things, (a man that she can manipulate like an older sibling blackmailing the younger sibling to get out of more choice situations, or get into situations they really don't want to be a part of), so I'm gonna rub Your bottle (Bible or imaginary subconscious bottle), You play genie, give me what I want, and I promise to be a good girl," she demands! 

He replies, "Two questions for you little woman, dear little sweet child of mine, Why start now, what are you really praying for? You've continually taken matters into your own hands, why stop now?" Why do we start prayer, and why should we end disobedience, and making vain request? To receive our blessings, to do the right thing, to get out of His way, and let Him be life, love, and the joy in us, through us, and for us.

Even though He doesn't have to, God still hears, so when will we? I've been praying for someone just like you!!! Did you hear you, or did you hear God? Did God say, "I've heard your prayers, and now the answer is in you. Seek Me in him, and you will get closer to him as you get closer to Me. "Seek ye first the Kingdom of God, and His righteousness, and all this things shall be added to you" (Matthew 6:33 KJV). Yes all these things, the man, the diamond on the finger, the nice home (not just a house), and all! You were almost a wife, don't let satan still anymore of your joy. Don't seek the desire you want in a man, it's temporal, don't stay focused on the pain of a past man, this too should, and shall pass as you let it!!! Instead seek the God in him that was created for you, and find the love of a lifetime.

Peace, Blessings, and Joy... that real PB&J

Honor, Love, Respect

Honor, Love, Respect

UNC Marching Band, Cheerleaders, Dancers, and Football Team photo courtesy of IG: Wynstagrams_Power2thePixel 

People make mistakes, bad decisions, and a whole host of other wrongful acts. When a person does the wrong thing some people will never forget it. An apology can be made, and those same people just won't let go of how they perceive that wrong doing, even if they are just as wrong, or (brace yourself), even if they started the wrongful act. Forgiveness is an act of respect, self-respect. Self-respect in the sense that the one forgiving is respectful enough to forgive, respectful enough to accept the disrespectful wishes of the person who doesn't forgive, and lacks character enough to be what they claim to be (a good, or caring person). They can't be wrong, so respect their wish, if they can't be wrong, they can at least be what they choose... miserable, disrespectful, and alone, very alone. Alone on an early death bed, alone in a rest home, alone... 

For the people who face the music at the end of the game win or lose, and do so to honor those that they love, and even some they don't, much love and respect to you. The art form of love and honor are lost forms, lost forms waiting on the one innovator to come along and introduce them in a flavorful, new way. 

Lord let the innovation and revival begin with me. For those I've wronged, or had a difficult time forgiving. Lord please forgive me now, and allow me to forgive now as well. "Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us," why is it on us first? Because we always expect our child to know better and do as its taught, to do the right thing. God is more deserving of being honored as a Father than me, and He expects us (me) to do the right thing. Therefore, on us again (me again), let us (me)... "forgive those that trespass against us," too. 

Until the next time go love on somebody! Peace, blessings, and joy... that real PB&J! 

The Final Love Story

The imperfect Christian has a story that may be a bit graphic for younger audiences, so be forewarned as a parent.

The imperfect Christian was reminiscing over a dear friend, one that knew no limits in love. This friend was the most compassionate, humanitarian anyone could ever meet.  The friend became a best friend, a major influential figure, and a mentor. The imperfect one remembers his friend announcing in a formal letter (a final love story) that it was time for their departure. It was one of the saddest times a person could ever endure. The imperfect Christian was losing the perfect friend.

Imagine your best friend saying that they were going to move several hours away. Imagine going to an empty house, and not finding your best friend there, or the love of a lifetime there. Imagine you've lost your job. Imagine finding a suicide note with the follow bits of information:

The doctor has informed me that I have cancer. My spouse left me, and has taken our children 900 miles away. I have endured being abusing daily, both verbally and physically. My spouse has cheated on me, and I have experienced the pain of what it is like to cheat on a spouse. I love life, but I am so depressed that the thought of suicide rushes in like the flood waters from a heavy rain, on soft, rich, mountainous soil. On top of all of this, my friend, that is closer than any brother, told the people that hated me most, just where to find me, then the government has falsely accused me. They have tried me unjustly and now they are imprisoning me. I was in the theatre where couples were slain, I was in the school when children killed children, but none of them would come to me for cover. They wouldn't allow me to help. Now they won't treat me, and the only medicinal aid they will grant me, is a vile, bitter liquid. They are prepared to beat me, and have exposed me to the other belligerent souls here, and they have taken their hate out on me. I have endured: adultery, bullying, gender discrimination, genocide, murder, racism, rape, treason, and on and on... I had lost my job, battled depression, had my best friend set me up, and now I am walking a deeper green mile than Stephen King ever dreamed of. I am on death row, and I have every ailment, and form of disease known to mankind. Everything from aids to a toothache, and now the public despises me as well. As I sit here alone I can only pray that all of this is just a bad dream, and that there is some way out. When I wake up, this will all be over, and thing will be as they were, and everything will be ok, and I will know this not to be true. If there is anyway, I pray this not to be necessary!

The imperfect Christian first met this dear friend, as a child, at his grandmother's house. This friend has seen the imperfect Christian through lifes' struggles, time and time again. This friend never once turned their back on the imperfect one. The imperfect one was bitter at this friend, and this friend on a few occasions, and unlike any other friend, this friend stayed with the imperfect one even when he was less than perfect. From self murder, to murdering others, God knows your struggle. Ever wonder why God allowed His only begotten Son to die such a brutal death? Some say that Jesus, in a round about way, committed suicide because He didn't call on the legion of angels to destroy His captors.
Instead Jesus called His betrayer (Judas Iscariot) "friend!"
Jesus said to him, “Friend, why have you come?” Matt 26:50 (NKJV)

Then Jesus said to Peter:
"Put your sword in its place, for all who take the sword will perish by the sword. Or do you think that I cannot now pray to My Father, and He will provide Me with more than twelve legions of angels? Matt 26:52&53 (NKJV)

The imperfect Christian is not suggesting anyone commit suicide, but I am thinking that in this instance, THE Son of God was thinking of the son of perdition. Blasphemy against the Holy One, and denying yourself daily grace, (not believing in the SON), are the only unpardonable sins.

This is my final love story, because there is no other love, no other love like this.

Peace, Blessings, and Joy... that real PB&J